They say that life is ten percent what happens to us and 90 percent how we react to whatever happened. Since it’s Christmas time, we know from experience that people will be in a hurry and tend to do things like cut us off in traffic, send us a size small when we ordered a large, and may generally be rushed and rude. Hopefully we can deal with these small offenses.
But it gets more difficult with a house full of relatives. Christmas get-togethers can mean arguments over everything from how to cook a turkey to whether the polar ice cap is going to melt and flood Florida. However, there are some ways to get around these family debacles. First, don’t let crazy uncle Ned drink too much of the spiked eggnog. (Just saying.) Second, set a firm “no politics” rule. (Whisper this delicately in the ear of the most likely folks at the outset, noting grandma’s weak heart, or something of the sort to save their egos.) And third, if a difference of opinion breaks out into a loud conversation, announce that it’s time to sing Christmas Carols, or play a game, or send one of them to diaper a waling baby. Basically, do whatever you can to separate the sparring pair. I know you—you can do this!
But the holidays also tend to shine a spotlight on the baked in offenses. People who have caused you deep hurts, people who have wronged you, taken away your livelihood, slandered or cheated you. You want to forget, but pride is involved. You want to forgive, but it still hurts too much. Christmas or no, your 90 percent does not want to forgive.
To really find peace and inevitably to find joy in our lives, we first have to stop being offended by every little thing. And if it’s a big thing, our path must be to find a way to forgive. Psalm 130:3 says: If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, who could stand? The obvious answer is none of us. Start by taking an internal survey of all the transgressions we ourselves have made—all the sins we regret, for which we have accepted His gracious pardon. When we have looked hard at our own shortcomings, it is easier to understand the mis-steps of others and forgive them. That’s our 90 percent. The understanding, the forgiving, the going on as if nothing happened. The chasing after happiness instead of wallowing in despair, and being positive in the face of difficulty.
My hero in the 90 percent category is a friend of 30 years. A couple of days ago she slipped on someone’s outdoor stairs as she delivered food to a home after a death in their family. She was knocked out in the fall and woke, freezing, in a pool of blood with a badly broken arm. She has a three-inch gash in her forehead and is having surgery to re-set the arm as I write this.
When I talked to her after the accident, she described the situation as “really lucky.” “I broke my right arm, and I’m left-handed,” she said. “I fell on my face, but didn’t lose a tooth, which could have been awful, and think I’ll be better in no time.” No kidding, this woman’s 90 percent is awesome. I only hope I could react as well. She literally rips joy from the jaws of upset.
So here’s hoping that you and I could do the same. That we might rid ourselves of upset or any offenses we have against others—especially those whose only offense is that they don’t look like us, or worship as we do, vote like we do, or act like we expect them to act. It’s a new day. A day for acceptance, forgiveness, humor and peace. Jesus Christ is born.
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